Advanced Weaponry Test (with bonus satellite features).

[eureka_npcs]

Jack never liked school. He was good enough at it to work his way up to US Marshal, of course, but the bonus of that was in between law memorization and the bizarrely mandatory higher mathematics courses, there was weapons training.

It balanced out.

What wasn't balancing out at the moment was Jack's attention on the far-too-ominous stack of stapled paper.

A paper test. About guns. Life was not fair.

With a huff, Jack caps his standard-issue ballpoint to place it down on his standard-issue desk, and he handed it to his deputy across the police station office to grade.

Comments

[eureka_npcs]

Jo is completely thrilled to be grading this test. He's gonna fail. He's gonna fail hard and the gun cabinet will never be his. One tiny tiny way that this office will stay hers. The way it should be.

[eureka_npcs]

And Jack is reduced to huffing.

A lot.

Pointedly, in Jo's direction.

[smart-house.livejournal.com]

And SARAH, for what it's worth, is waiting with bated breath at the other end of the audio-only feed she's receiving.

Sheriff Carter hasn't taken his PDA out of his pocket.

[eureka_npcs]

Jo scribbles notes and fairly snarky comments as she mutters over the test.

"No. Nope. Nope." She switches from frustarted and amused to straight out exasperated. “Oh my god, no. Carter...”

She picks the remote upp and presses the button for the rather Men in Blackesque gun rack to descend from the ceiling. Descend may be too polite a word. It comes in with a heavy thump.

“...the XJ-55 assault cannon uses a thirty-round magazine?! On what planet?”

[eureka_npcs]

Matching Jo's tone as he walks to the descending gun rack: "Less commentary, more addition. What’s my score?"

[eureka_npcs]

Jo can do math in her head, ha ha!

"53%"

[eureka_npcs]

Jack Carter's grin would light a city block if there weren't already several nuclear devices already doing so in Eureka.

"Yeah! Third time's the charm."

[eureka_npcs]

Jo's eyebrow is rightly feared in several states.

"Third time's the F. Again." Is that a smirk? Naaaaah...Weeeeeeell...Maybe a little... "No advanced weaponry for you." The soup nazi was never so smug.

[eureka_npcs]

Jack stands with his mouth agape, tossing a finger to point at the JR-414 Self-Defense Stunner --

-- or the twin-barrel F-26.

Crap.

"I have to know every gun in the rack?!"

[eureka_npcs]

She sends the rack back from whence it came and turns to glare at him.

"And what? You should get special treatment because you’re the Sheriff?"

[eureka_npcs]

"I see what’s going on here."

He'd been hoping not to deal with this, but it was to be expected after all.

"I know you feel you were passed over when they brought me in as Sheriff."

[eureka_npcs]

She bristles.

"And yet, I aced the exam the first time."

Uh-huh. Beat that, almighty Sheriff Man.

[eureka_npcs]

"Jo, it’s not a contest. I was assigned here by Washington. If you have an issue, take it up with them."

Grabby hands being flicked toward the remote on Jo's desk. "And give me the remote."

[eureka_npcs]

Taggart's eyes are almost impossibly wide as he stares. "Just look at the size of that thing," he drawls in awe.

Turning to look over his shoulder he calls to Spencer, "Nothin' yet, mate."

[eureka_npcs]

Spencer pushes back his blond locks -- appropriate for an attempt at California chic if the wave in it was from a ponytail instead of safety goggles -- and is concentrating very intently on one of several computer screens in his cramped trailer.

To Taggart, called over his friends' heads in front of the aforementioned television screen taking up one entire end of the trailer: "When that satellite reorients another seven degrees?" Almost a giggle. "TV heaven."

[eureka_npcs]

Fargo holds up the TV dinner sized univeral remote.

"Spencer, how do you work this thing?"

[eureka_npcs]

It's a quick movement, but enough to set that blond hair moving again as Spencer springs the remote control from Fargo's grasp.

"Nobody touches the Master Commander." To the be-aproned man over by a rather poor excuse for a kitchenette: "Vincent! We need food."

[eureka_npcs]

As Taggart and Fargo voice their support of Spencer's demand Vincent shoots everyone a look. His voice is filled with good-natured chiding, "Patience, heathens, patience." He turns back to the tray in front of him and makes a few (strictly unnecessary) flourishes before turning picking the tray up and moving out of the kitchen area.

"Okay," he brandishes the tray grandly. "Roasted jalapeno maize kernals with demiglace. Get 'em while they're still steaming."

[eureka_npcs]

Fargo looks incensed. Which kind of looks more like pouty, but what can you do?

"But it's movie night! I need my popcorn..."

[eureka_npcs]

Vincent takes a moment to look mildly offended before rolling his eyes at Fargo, "Expand and indulge your palete, Fargo," he held the tray out.

Reaching across Fargo, Taggart snags a handful of kernals and offers a sneer, "Phillistine."

[eureka_npcs]

The red icon indicating the satellite's position in orbit over western Oregon flicks to green; a symbol of readiness.

"We’re locked on! In seconds, a first-run flick destined for the multiplex will be coming to your local Spencer-plex -- " And with a (completely necessary) flourish, Spencer clicks off the lights in the trailer and turns on the overhead projector, the screen in front of the quartet flooding with light.

[eureka_npcs]

Everyone leans forward reflexively as the sound system swells with the opening theme. An image swims into focus on the screen; bright, crisp lettering: 'They Came To Conquer'. Taggart's voice is awed, reverent, "Ripper."

[eureka_npcs]

A still seething Jo marches up the steps to Spencer's aluminum front door to pound on it.

"Spencer! SPENCER! Spencer!"

She gives up on being heard and walks in, her hands over her ears.

"HELLO? Officer of the law?"

She gives them a couple seconds and tries again.

"What’s wrong with you people? Turn it down!"

[eureka_npcs]

Spencer doesn't even look up.

"What? Why?"

[eureka_npcs]

"The neighbors are complaining about the noise!"